This Childish Life: Filming Neverland
by Andy 46587
Summary: A cameraman is whisked away to Neverland because Peter needs to iron out misunderstandings about Neverland. Like when I filmed Coraline, this is rated K  for safety, but it shouldn't have much material  if any  that's inappropriate for children.
1. A note from the author

**Okay, this is my first story, so you've got to read my Terms of Service**

**Andy See's terms of service**

**Laughter – My fanfictions are generally light-hearted. As such, you are required to giggle at least twice per chapter. This will lighten stress that you have been getting all your life and let you live longer.**

**Suspension of Disbelief – You know the last part of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 theme song? Well, if you think the situation is unrealistic, repeat to yourself "It's just a story, I should really just relax" (also a reference to MST3K).**

**Comments – When reviewing my story, make sure to tell me **_**how**_** my story was so great, terrible, or in-between. Don't just say "this is great, keep going" or "this sucks, start over", tell me exactly what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong**

"**Justin Bieber Rule" – Do not refer to some flash in the pan musical artist in your comments. Make sure it's one who will stand the test of time. Radiohead is fine. If you're into rap, use Jay-Z. I like to use The Who, Bruce Springsteen, Rush, and U2.**

**Have Fun while reading this – Like a said before, my fanfictions are meant to be light-hearted, so make sure you enjoy reading what I have to say.**

**Sorry, but I just had to spoof the terms of service.**

**Now, let's get on with the story.**


	2. Chapter 1

This Childish Life: Filming Neverland

My name is Andy See. I am a cameraman from Indiana, PA working for the United States Guild of Unique Stories (USGUS pronounced Us Gus). I get $20,000 per big story (plus, the opportunity to do as much as to double it based on popularity) and several hundred for Youtube "Pet Projects", but that is second compared to the satisfaction I get from capturing, on film, someone overcoming their personal demons.

Around February 2009, I got a letter from Peter Pan. He wanted me to film a totally truthful documentary on Neverland since the 1953 movie had made several key omissions. I decided to go on July 3, 2009. Why this date? Well, the day after that, I was to turn 18. Also by then my family would be in Bemus Point, NY, which even in summer, is less heavily populated than Indiana, PA is. Therefore, I could fly, and there would be a lower chance of being spotted. Supplies included snacks, a portable CD player because my MP3 back then could only hold 1GB of music, a laptop-sized video editor, five sets of spare batteries, a stereo to share my music, three days worth of changes of clothes-including a blue tunic and darker blue shorts in honor of Peter himself (but I wanted to differentiate myself from him), and a sleeping bag. Luckily, Peter Pan told me he would supply the food.

On July 2, we went to my grandma's house in Bemus Point. It's a little village near the southwest corner of New York. Every summer, tourists flock to this resort town, but the July 4th time is especially busy. You see, Bemus is on Chautauqua Lake, and the flares they put around the entire lake are so bright, you can see them from space. Due to the lack of an upstairs there, I had to venture outside to meet with Peter. At the point itself, I made an X with two flashlights, and then played the first part of "Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits. Peter came down, and sure enough, Tinkerbell was with him. I wanted to get an interview with him right then, but the lack of sufficient light, plus the fact that we would probably be spotted if there was more light made this impossible. So Tink just gave me some fairy dust, and I took off.

Ever rode a roller coaster? I've ridden plenty of them, and riding most of them is like driving a Ferrari through the Alps, quite a rush, but you're surrounded by the doors, dashboard, and windshield. Now imagine that you're doing that, except there's no car. That's what flying feels like, and I've never felt so free in my life. While flying, we managed to get a glimpse of New York City. After that, we just followed the second star to the right (which by the way, is Cygnus X-1 and is a black hole to anyone who doesn't have fairy dust), and daylight rushed upon us.

When we finally got to Neverland, we touched down at his treehouse, under Hangman's Tree, and the interview began. First, I asked him how he got to Neverland. His response was, "I was just a little baby, but I heard my parents talking about adult life. I decided that wasn't for me, so I ran away to Kensington Gardens. Then I felt a voice telling me about a place where my body would never age." After that, I asked him how he could stay so mentally childlike. After all those adventures, won't he gain the maturity of a grown-up? What he told me was "I don't worry about that. I choose to forget all but my favorite adventures to remain fit for this island." With his devil may care attitude, he shouldn't have survived in Neverland. I asked him how he ate. Peter, as it turns out, just imagines food into existence.

At this point, Peter imagined his breakfast into existence. I ate my Cheerios, the only non-snack food I brought. Another thing I learned was that it's always summer, though not always sunny, in Neverland.

Of course, even during a filming adventure, I need to keep in shape for cross-country season, which would begin in about two months. So I began an approximately eight mile run from the west side of the island, past the pirate ship on the south side, to the Mermaid Lagoon. The entire run, which was on the beach, took me about an hour to complete, and by the end, I felt like my belly was going to burst open. Once getting there, I ripped off my shirt, swung from a vine into the lagoon, and some red-headed mermaid came rushing up to me and gave me a kiss! I guess she had never seen anyone as handsome as me before, besides Peter. By the way, if you think that's Ariel, it wasn't because 1). Her hair was more orange than red and 2). It was in a ponytail.

After I made it back to Hangman's Tree, I dried off, then went exploring around the island. At this point I saw what appeared to be a maze. I went through it, and from the interviews I conducted, these appeared to be mothers looking for their children, who happened to be the Lost Boys. Speaking of which, I finally got to memorize The Lost Boys and one quality about each of them. First was Tootles, who was wearing a Skunk skin. He is the least fortunate lost boy because he usually misses the action. Then there was Nibs, Rabbit skin. He's Joyful, and possibly the bravest of these boys, besides Peter. After that was Slightly, in a Fox skin. He actually "remembers" his past, though the memories are usually fabrications or misunderstandings (e.g. his underwear said "Slightly Soiled"). Next up was Cubby, with a Bear skin. He usually gets in the most trouble because he takes the fall even if he didn't do it. Finally there's The Twins wearing Racoon skins. They don't know much about themselves.

Near sunset, I wandered into what was called "Slightly Gulch", besides Peter, Slightly was the first Lost Boy, where a typical battle between the Lost Boys and Indians was occurring. I had a bit of a problem making out what was going on, but I could clearly see that Peter switched sides mid-battle "just for fun." I got a little angry at him because I felt he had abandoned his honor. To him, though, life is a game, and it's hard to stay mad at someone like Peter for very long.

**Hello, it's me again. As promised (in my "Filming Coraline" story), here's my Peter Pan equivalent**

**Like with Coraline, I have a soundtrack for this movie (the 1953 version). Call it "The Alternative Peter Pan Soundtrack", and then use an unconventional picture of the boy who will never grow up as the album cover.**

**1. Childhood - Michael Jackson 4:28 (The intro. No other Michael Jackson song was appropriate.)**

**2. Life on Mars? - David Bowie 3:48 (When Wendy is yearning for more out of her life.)**

**3. Wonderwall - Oasis 4:18 (Peter Pan is like an imaginary friend, and Wendy loves him [though Peter doesn't love her back as anything more than a mother, so cut it out with the PeterxWendy fanfiction.])**

**4. Dreamline - Rush 4:36 (Basically, the flying anthem. It's about all the dreams we have as children.) **

**5. Breaking the Law - Judas Priest 2:35 (Captain Hook's theme. Maybe Jethro Tull's "Aqualung" would've been better.)**

**6. Stories for Boys - U2 3:02 (The song that plays, when the lost boys start hunting the Indians.)**

**7. Beatnik Beach - The Go-Go's 2:53 (Mermaids theme. Surf Rock anyone?)**

**8. My Generation - The Who 3:17 (This is for Peter's first fight with Hook.)**

**9. Cherokee - IUP Marching Band 1:45 (Local song for the Indian scene. At least it would be less racist than "What makes the Read man Red".)**

**10. You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette 4:09 (Peter's "tryst" with Wendy from Tinkerbell's point of view. Watch out for the swear word at 1:49.)**

**11. A Murder of One - Counting Crows 5:44 (Wendy reconsidering whether she should stay in Neverland.)**

**12. 21 Guns - Green Day 5:21 (Same subject as "You Oughta Know" but from Peter's viewpoint. This should be played during the explosion.)**

**13. Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen 4:30 (Peter rescuing Wendy. Also, the singer's girlfriend is named Wendy.)**

**14. Freebird - Lynyrd Skynyrd 9:06 (The first part could be either Peter or Wendy saying why they can't stay with the other. The second part is clearly all of Peter's adventures after he left Wendy.)**

**In the next chapter, I'll have the alternative soundtrack for Return to Neverland (no, I'm not kidding).**


	3. Chapter 2

**And here's the end to one of my stories. For anyone who's actually reading this, sorry for it being a day late.**

Dinner consisted of an imaginary boar. I went along with Peter's amazing right brain, and the boar actually tasted pretty good. By no means was it the best meal I've ever had, but it was pretty good. The truly amazing part about it was I didn't feel hungry at all for the rest of the night. For the rest of the night, I worked on the footage I had of Mermaid Lagoon, Hangman's Tree, The Maze of Regrets, and Slightly Gulch on my video editor.

I was initially skeptical about staying another day, but as I found out, for every hour that passes in the regular world, one day passes in Neverland. Knowing this I put on my blue tunic and darker blue shorts. After that I headed for the Redskin settlement, but stumbled upon Pixie Hollow. I tried to get some footage, but I couldn't understand what those little people with wings were saying. Once I remembered Disney was going big with this, I just gave it up. Their marketing machine is huge-just look at the Disney Princesses.

Now as I understand it, the song "What Makes the Red Man Red?" used every bad Indian stereotype short of alcoholism and gambling. These included use of a Peace Pipe, derogatory words like "Injun" and "Squaw," and the portrayal of underage women as sexy and exotic-actually, the exotic part might not be that bad. When I was there, none of this took center stage. I saw their compassion for the land, a small Buffalo breeding system, and the great art they produced. When I asked why these Redskins treated their coexistence with the Lost Boys as a game, their chief, Great Big Little Panther, said that Peter helped them in a battle with Captain Hook's crew, which otherwise would've killed at least half their tribe.

I saved my most dangerous interview for last, though. I barely came up with enough courage get on the Jolly Roger and try to ask questions to Hook and Smee at the same time.

First I asked them how they got there in the first place. Hook said "Weren't we looking for the body of Christopher Columbus to take for a ransom?" Smee responded, "No James, we were looking for the treasure of Captain Kidd, it's worth over a million British pounds." With inflation, it would be worth USD $10 million, conservatively. After that, I asked what happened to it. What Hook said was, "After the battle where I lost my hand, Peter came into possession of it, and as soon as I kill him, I will take the treasure and leave! By the way, do you know where the treasure is?"

I refused to answer him, but no matter, he took me hostage anyway. Just before I was tied up, I managed to get a shot off from my flare gun. You see, I thought this might happen, so I told Peter to save me if he saw an emergency flare. I even fired one off for him to show him what a flare looked like.

Sure enough, Peter Pan came flying in a few minutes later. There wasn't a whole lot in his swordfight that wasn't in the 1953 Disney movie, what with Peter's incredible sprightliness and the Lost Boys joining in, propelled by fairy dust. I got as much of the fight on camera as I could, but someone named Little Richard started chasing me. I engaged in parkour (treating the world like it's an obstacle course) by jumping off of the ship, landing on the back of the Crocodile, jumping off of its back, and finally, landing on the south beach. Little Richard was a beast though, he swam all the way to the south beach, while the crocodile was focused on Captain Hook. After spending that time catching my breath, I just ran through Neverwood. However, Little Richard was faster than I, and I was too far from Pixie Hollow to get Fairy Dust. Of course, at that point, a timespace hole produced from a time machine opened up leading to the late 1940's. I got away just in time, while Little Richard fell in. Don't feel too bad for my pursuer though, he went on to be _the _biggest architect of Rock N' Roll, apart from Elvis.

Figuring that I had done my job, apart from Neverpeak, but when Peter tried to scale it, he nearly _became _Captain Hook, I decided to have a little fun. Being a big fan of Back to the Future's "Johnny B. Goode" scene, I played "Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen over my stereo. This also became like the "Bohemian Rhapsody" scene in Wayne's World with us badly singing along. Peter himself told me it was incredible, something that would be uniquely his own. With what he knew about the world, he was right. In any case, Tinkerbell showered me with her dust, and I was on my way back with all my supplies.

As I was leaving Neverland, I saw someone else coming in out of the corner of my eye. He was a black-skinned little boy, about nine years old with his hair. I asked him why he was here. He simply said "I'm becoming a new Lost Boy". After explaining that I was just here for filming purposes, I then told him to straighten his hair so it would be more practical for adventure. I asked him his name, he just responded "Michael".

I flew away from Neverland with hope. If Michael Jackson could find peace in his soul, there was certainly hope for me yet.

**All right, I'm done. As promised, here are songs from an alternative Return to Neverland soundtrack**

**1. Stockton Gala Days - 10,000 Maniacs 4:22 (Wendy's remembrance of Neveland.)**

**2. War - Edwin Starr 3:28 (Laying bare how bad wars are.)**

**3. Starman - David Bowie 4:18 (The hope that Peter Pan provided to, Danny at least.)**

**4. Tucker's Town - Hootie & the Blowfish 3:49 ("I'm going down to Tucker's Town/Where I can lie for Free/Nobody stares at me/and I love to hurt, the population". Yeah, that lyric sums up what Jane felt about Peter Pan at the beginning of the movie.)**

**5. Enter Sandman - Metallica 5:31 (A scary song for when Jane is abducted. The end of the chorus just makes it more appropriate.)**

**6. Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin 2:26 (Peter Pan's fighting song. I don't want anything recycled from my first soundtrack.)**

**7. Electrical Storm - U2 4:26 (The immediately strained relationship between Peter and Jane.)**

**8. Two out of Three Ain't Bad - Meat Loaf 5:25 (Jane's intent to leave Neverland, without ill feeling towards Peter.)**

**9. The Rhythm Method (Live) - Rush 4:38 (Neil Peart drum solo. Meant to sum up Jane's difficulties while learning to fly [by the way, this is found on the live album "A show of Hands" from 1989].)**

**10. Round Here (part 1) - Counting Crows 3:06 (This song was spilt into two parts. I needed something crushingly sad to sum up Jane's feelings at the time. Stop the song after the lyric "Mom's little baby better get herself in/out of the lightning".)**

**11. Thundering Hearts - John Mellencamp 3:41 (A hard rock song about having fun on adventures, that is great for Jane finding the courage to be a Lost Girl.)**

**12. Round Here (part 2) - Counting Crows 2:26 (Picking up where the song left off earlier, this should be played when Peter is captured, and Tinkerbell is at death's door.)**

**13. Runnin' Down a Dream - Tom Petty 4:23 (This song should be played during the climax. It's fast-paced, and so is this battle.)**

**14. Against the Wind - Bob Seger 5:33 (This is basically the message Peter gives to Wendy when he gets back.)**

**If anyone actually read this story, I hope they enjoyed it. I'll be back to cross this over with Coraline on May 6, when my College Semester is over.**


End file.
